Thursday, 26 March 2009

The Heart of the Matter

I've been following the BBC series called Mistresses, which is about the loves and lives of four women who happen to be very close friends. It reminds me of the American comedy, Sex and the City without the wit, explicit sex, and simple relationships.

For the purpose of this piece, I'm now going to focus on Siobhan's relationships. She is a lawyer and married to Hari, a chef. After trying unsuccessfully for a baby, Siobhan ends up having an affair with her work colleague and falls pregnant. Although Hari is devastated when he finds out, they decide to stay together. When Siobhan has the baby, Hari stays home to look after her.

In the meantime, things go from bad to worse in their marriage. They haven't had sex together since Siobhan was pregnant and have been sleeping in separate bedrooms since the baby's birth. While they are trying to figure out how to make their marriage work, Siobhan starts having one-night stands with strangers. She convinces herself that they are just meaningless sex and it's Hari she really loves. Unfortunately for her, one man she has a fling with ends up secretly taking their photographs and using them to control her. He even sends the photos to Hari, which is the last straw for him.

Hari demands a divorce and custody of the baby. Siobhan tells Hari that as the mother she will be granted custody. She suggests that Hari can still play a vital part in the baby's upbringing and be their for birthdays. After giving Siobhan's suggestions some serious thought, Hari decides that it's not a life he relishes. He says that in time Siobhan will meet someone else and might even want to get married. The last thing he needs is to be on the periphery as the baby's step-father. Hari says that even though it's going to be difficult in the short-term he would rather break away from his wife and baby and find a life for himself, where he's in the heart instead of on the periphery.

Because society encourages people to follow their leader and live on the periphery, it takes guts to stick up for what you truly believe in. Those who are following their hearts are considered to be self-centred or selfish.

I've always believed in the adage: "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." As I see it, because we're all connected, when one is happy, it blesses and inspires everyone to be happy. When one is sacrificing their happiness, they are doing a disservice to all.

Good for Hari for not settling for a periphery lifestyle.

In the heart of Me.


Related articles: All Roads Lead to Rome; The Cherished One Doesn't Fight Over Scraps; Why It's Important to Follow My Heart; When One is Blessed, All is Blessed; The Power of Selfishness; Are You a Gutless Wonder?; What's Good for the Goose is Good for the Gander